Want a Free House?

This story comes from an older taxpayer I know–It will only take you a few minutes to read 1200 words.  Jan Kollitz

I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the coming implementation of the health care bill. I could not finish my breakfast. This is what ensued:

They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes. I heard a young man exclaim, “Isn’t Obama like Jesus Christ? I mean, after all, he is healing the sick.”

A young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, “Yeah, and he does it for free. I cannot believe anyone would think that a free market wouldn’t work for health care.”

Another said, “The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so they can inherit all of the power. Obama should be made a Saint for what he did for those of us less fortunate.”

At this, I had more than enough. I arose from my seat, mustering all the restraint I could find, and approached their table. “Please excuse me; may I impose upon you for one moment?”

They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation. I stood at the end of their table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.

“I would like to give one of you my house. It will cost you no money and I will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live there. Anyone interested?”

They looked at each other in astonishment. “Why would you do something like that?” asked a young man, “There isn’t anything for free in this world.”  They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just made my point.

“I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money whatsoever. Anyone interested?”

In unison, a resounding “Yeah” fills the room.

“Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to who receives this money-free bargain.”

I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle unfolding before their eyes, the old man shaking his head in apparent disgust.

“I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey my rules.”

Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on their faces.

The perky young woman asked, “What are the rules?”

I smiled and said, “I don’t know. I have not yet defined them. However, it is a free home that I offer you.”

They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, “What an old coot. He must be crazy to give away his home. Go take your meds, old man.”

I smiled and leaned into the table a bit further. “I am serious, this is a legitimate offer.”

They gaped at me for a moment..

“I’ll take it you old fool. Where are the keys?” boasted the youngest among them.

“Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then?” I asked.

The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from the privacy of their table. “Oh yeah! Where do I sign up?”

I took a napkin and wrote, “I give this man my home, without the burden of financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms that I shall set forth upon consummation of this transaction.”

I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out his signature.

“Where are the keys to my new house?” he asked in a mocking tone of voice.

All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the keys from pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.

“Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all of your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated to adhere to from this point forward. You may only live in the house for one hour a day. You will not use anything inside of the home. You will obey me without question or resistance. I expect complete loyalty and admiration for this gift I bestow upon you. You will accept my commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the nature. Your morals and principles shall be as mine. You will vote as I do, think as I do and do it with blind faith. These are my terms. Here are your keys.”
I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumbfounded.

“Are you out of your mind? Who would ever agree to those ridiculous terms?” the young man appeared irritated.

“You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding it and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only after you committed to the agreement.”

The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him. I was looking at a now silenced and bewildered group of people.

“You can shove that stupid deal up your a** old man. I want no part of it!” exclaimed the now infuriated young man.

‘You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your friends. You cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it. I do not intend to let you free now that I have you ensnared. I am the power you agreed to. I am the one you blindly and without thought chose to enslave yourself to. In short, I am your Master.”

At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group against the unfairness of the deal..

After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my true intent.

“What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you with the health care legislation. I easily suckered you in and then revealed the real cost of the bargain. Your folly was in the belief that you can have something you did not earn, and for that which you did not earn, you willingly allowed someone else to think for you. Your failure to research, study and inform yourself permitted reason to escape you. You have entered into a trap from which you cannot flee. Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives it to you. A freedom that is given can also be taken away. Therefore, it is not freedom at all.”

With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished young man. “This is the nature of your new health care legislation.”

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation — and was surprised by applause.

The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand enthusiastically and said, “Thank you, Sir. These kids don’t understand Liberty .”

He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, “You earned this one. It is an honor to pick up the tab.”

I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled and sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.

Remember, Four boxes keep us free:
The soap box,
The ballot box,
The jury box, and
The cartridge box.


“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous
by letting the American Government take care of him;
better take a closer look at [today’s] American Indian.”

Henry Ford

19 responses to “Want a Free House?

  1. Who said anything about free? Am I or you as a citizen paying taxes? Why am I paying extreme tax if I cannot even receive free medical. I would encourage Americans to view the european medical system services are yes FREE. I recal an rcc team travelling to europe one student got hurt ambulance, overnight stay were all free with medication. Now lets move to the united states. A friend of mine got sick Ambulance, morphene and 2 nights at hospital were $5500. Now I believe the statement should not be “nothing is free” but “after my taxes from all my hard work is taken by the government for social services where is my medical coverage”?

  2. I liked reading this, i relate to it because my parents always say, “nothing in this world is free”. The truth is that the governemnet at times makes us think that they are helping us in a 100% free way, when that is not exactly true. I also realte to the part when the older man said, ” these kids dont understand liberty”. This is true the newer generations seem to be blindfolded at times by politics, me being one of them.

  3. This is so true and funny. People really should research before they agree to any terms.

  4. Wow, this man made a great point to these ignorant young people. We are being decieved everyday by our government and it is our responsibility to inform ourself and others of this deception so that we can escape the trap.

  5. I’ve sent this to my entire address book. love this story.

  6. This just shows how uneducated Americans are. Most people just listen to one news station, or opinions of their peers and assume this to be true, and they fail to verify and do independent research themselves. People need to start reading bills and laws themselves so they know excavate what it is they are voting and supporting. What people fail to realize is that we live in a country tht operates under the principle that you get what your work for, its not the governments job to hand things out; the government was given certain duties and obligations by the Constitutions to ensure that each person is given the opportunity to fulfill this principle.

  7. I agree with what everyone else said because it is true that nothing is truly free. Working hard for what you want is usually the way to go.

  8. Nothing in life ever is free. But reading this really puts the point across on being self-reliant.

  9. Amazing story. This really caught my attention because you see the phrase “nothing in this world is free” actually be put in such a clear way.

    • This man who proposed this experiment is very rational and intelligent. Although I am apart of that generation here the new reform of health care is being enacted I agree. The group that he approached was very naive and ignorant as to the nation’s policy and to the words they were speaking. This man gave them a thought to run on.

  10. This is great! Such a clever way to get his point across. Nothing is free and if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

  11. I thought that was an amazing story. It is true that nothing is free in this world, there is always some cost to every decision. It is also true that no one ever really pays attention to the details, they see something that interests them and the leap for it without caution.

  12. This was a very funny article to read, because these young people believe they are getting free healthcare but they don’t realize that nothing in life is free and we all need to work hard for the things we want in life. At one point the young man was contradicting himself by saying “Nothing in life is free”, and before he was excited about getting free healthcare.

  13. In order for one to understand what they are getting themselves into they must know about that subject and what all the rules are. A person cannot expect to just get handed something with no payments, it’s how our economy works. If everyone was being handed free stuff all the time what would be the point of hard work?

  14. The American dream is all about hard work and working your way up the ladder. Earning everything you have and never given a free pass. But the American dream is set up to an idea that everyone starts out the same, but they don’t. Some are born with serious medical conditions or are hit with them while they are climbing the like every one else. Is it fair to deny a treatment to some one simple because they can not a afford it. For example my mom was hit with the diagnoses of cancer. Thank God she has a good job with benefits. But many people do not. Should they be denied the treatment simply because they can not afford the expensive surgery and chemo treatments? No doubt people should educate themselves about political and get information from multiple sources but they should also think outside the box and think about situations others are in.

  15. I agree nothing is every free. Everything in life has a price. The price might not necessarily be money but there is always something you have to pay in order to get what you want. That price can be anything even one’s dignity.

  16. The statement “freedom isn’t free” is really true in all aspects of the United States, whether this freedom be won in wars or in our rights stated in the Constitution. The idea of free health care seemed like a good idea from some perspectives to many people, including politics, but people are now realizing that this idea is not working in this way which they had intended. The younger generation is becoming more and more oblivious to the the government and what is going on in the United States. This short story needs to be in a text which are taught in schools because it really puts a blunt outlook on the subject.

  17. The quote of Henry Ford is perfect for this. That is exactly what will become of Americans if we continue to believe only what we are told. Only your own research can further you in any matter. Do not look to others for answers when only you know what the right answer is for yourself. By letting the government take care of you, you are giving them the right to control you, in turn giving up your own rights.

  18. Wow! This was great and totally worth reading! Too many people rely on the government to help support them throughout their life without realizing what outcomes follow through with it. People should not vote for something that they do not know about. Or just vote for something because they will believe it will give them a “free ride”. Individuals must look at the facts and know that there are always going to be loop holes. I am sure the government knows that people are not going to take their time to fully understand what it is that they are voting for. So this should be spread around, so it can broaden peoples minds to make more educated choices.

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