Aphorisms For The Year

It‘s not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
We have enough “youth“.

How about a fountain of “smart“?

The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
When blondes have more fundo they know it?
Money isn’t everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
If at first you don’t succeed
skydiving is not for you.
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to make reproductive organs.
The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population.
“You know why a banana is like a politician?”
“He comes in and first he is green,
then he turns yellow
and then he’s rotten.”
“I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors ..”
The reason Politicians try so hard to get  re-elected is that they would ‘hate’ to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

 Here is a site with many more: Aphorisms Galore!

22 responses to “Aphorisms For The Year

  1. i got a good chuckle out of these, especially the ones about politicians. this reminded me that our congressman (and former RCC trustee) is currently being sustained by ‘living the wage’ he is attempting to survive as the ‘common constituent’ does. check him out on facebook, i think he might lose a few pounds by checking out his photo postings

  2. The last one is too scary and true to be funny. Obamacare is a prime example of the politicians putting themselves above the masses, writing themselves as exceptions to the regulations.
    The artificial intelligence one made me laugh the hardest. Operator and programing errors make technology unreliable.

  3. I enjoyed these alot, especially the one where it says that politicians should wear uniforms like nascar drivers to show who’s sponsoring them. Even though it’s comical, this is very true and people should educate themselves enough to realize that.

  4. These are pretty funny lines. Many of them have a lot of truth to them. They are all pretty clever.

  5. I really enjoyed reading these aphorisms. My favorite ones were definitely the ones about the politicians. These aphorisms do a good job of ridiculing their subject.

  6. These are very funny and amusing. Gives me something to laugh about, knowing the truth about these things is even funnier.

  7. These are funny! But a bit of truth adds to the humor. 🙂

  8. Priscilla K. Cornejo

    I loved this when I saw it in class I think they are really clever and humorous.

  9. These were so fun to read. Some of them are funny but they are also so true, especially the political ones!

  10. My favorite was the banana one. It is somewhat true, at least that is what I think. They were all funny. Most of them were politician jokes, because politicians tend to change and become someone who they are not or were since the beginning and perceived themselves as someone else.

  11. These are really funny! My favorite one is the one about the politicians living under the lawas they passed. It is funny because it makes me wonder if politicians are out for America’as best interest or their own.

  12. Any time someone says, “it’s not whether you win or lose,” ends up losing.

  13. The last post was actually very interesting, makes me wonder how politicians would react to getting a taste of their own medicine.

  14. Many of these are very accurate especially the one about youth. “We have enough ‘youth’. How about a fountain of ‘smart’?

  15. These were all really funny “We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.” this spoke to my soul haha

  16. Really love the first one. Kind of makes me think it’s something a Slytherin would say (:

  17. “It‘s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.” This reminds me so much of my childhood.

  18. The second to last aphorism is my favorite. The voters deserve to know this information!

  19. I think these are very clever. There is so much truth to them. I especially love the first one. It’s not whether you win or lose but how you place the blame. After all, why be responsible for your actions!

  20. I knew Charles and Joseph both were born with common sense! Bravo!

  21. Funny , someone hit the nail, right on the head.

  22. Funny but true.. I can see the satire and irony in each statement which intended to ridicule the politicians.

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